Wednesday 25 May 2011
Fat fucking whore.
After two days of actually doing well, no binging, no purging, I allowed my boss being a shit head trigger me into a binge, this is what I've just fucking eaten...
A bag of McCoys cheese and onion
2 fresh cream jam turnovers
2 fresh cream chocolate eclairs
2 crunchies
8 slices of edam cheese
2 cadbury's caramel eggs
A tub of hummus
A box of melba toasts
A litre of Ben and Jerry's phish food
6 tunnock's tea cakes
And that's not even all of it, once i've purged I'll be eating about the same amount, purging again and having a chinese then purging again, then I'll take a shit load of laxatives and stay up all night shitting my guts out.
Straight back to square one, my teeth fucking kill when I eat as well, I should have killed myself long ago, this pitiful existence doesn't consitute as a life.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No Phoenix you shouldn't be so harsh on yourself (I know that's a bit rich coming from me cos im the same) just take it as a blip, a bad day. It's not long until tomorrow will be here and tomorrow will be a good day if you promise yourself it will. You need to realise what an achievement you made by not binge/purging for long. I'm struggling too at the moment and seeing your achievement is helping me. Stay beautiful cos you are x
ReplyDeleteI know it feels nearly impossible not to put yourself down for this, but you did fantastic with not binging and purging for two days. And I mean it, so much. B/P cycles aren't going to stop right away so you're not back at square one. Please keep trying and holding in there <3. xo
ReplyDeleteYou're not gonna let this shit own you.
ReplyDeletexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx