Sunday, 11 November 2012


I swear to God(don't worry, I don't believe in the cunt), fucking night terrors, I hate them so much. What is the point in living when there's no peace? I go from one hell to another, waking up, going to sleep, there's just no rest.

Why ever the things in my head hate me so much, want me to die so much, I'll never know, but they mean business...

And now I sound totally crazy, obviously, but it feels so, so real, I find it hard to convince myself it's not. It's not like I can just hear them, I can feel the fuckers and sometimes see them when I've first woke up, they choke me, push me about, move me, that's not all in my stupid fucking head.

Oh God, I really do sound fucking crazy.
What life is there for me? Who can accept me for what I am? For this?! Seriously.

So I had to sleep on my mum's bedroom floor last night.

Fucking pathetic.

Thursday, 8 November 2012


I really want to stop living. I actually do. My life is pathetic.

I had to sleep in my mum's room last night because of my night terrors, that's after crying like a retard for like an hour before trying to go to sleep, punching myself in the face and scratching myself till I bled, then desperately searching ebay for razor blades cheap enough to spend the rest of my money on.

I've just got up and now I'm crying and binging, I'll probably take more laxatives after I've purged.

I'm so unhappy. I want to die.