Friday, 11 March 2011

More pictures!

Me in my Size 20 dress last year!
Another size 20 pic
Then me in my new size 14 playsuit(same material from the same store)
Ignore the hair!

Thursday, 10 March 2011


Firstly I see my weight loss and my bulimia as two seperate things, they're related because bulimia made me fat in the first place, but bulimia didn't start out as anything to do with weight, anyway this is my progress from October up until now...
This is 226lbs
and this is 199lbs, I'm 195 now, I'm going to get to 10st(140lbs) which is right in the middle of the healthy weight range and see how I feel then.

Tuesday, 8 March 2011

In the mirror

I see a face that isn't mine, I mean I recognise it, but it's like someone I see around alot, I can't connect that face to my inner conciusness, it's not me, I know it is my face but it's like looking at a stranger, the face I had at four years old, that's my real face, I should still have that face, just fifteen years older, but I don't, I have this stranger's face and I just want her to leave my house and stop pretending to be me.

Monday, 7 March 2011

My definition of bulimia

I hate it, I hate it with every fibre of my being, yet every time I try to escape it, it tricks me, it tricks me with false hopes of one day making me happy, it tricks me into thinking I need it, it makes me protect it and convinces me it's all that I have, even though this is what's pushed away anything good in my life, it's a murderer that's snook its way into my life, disguised as some sort of friend, accomplice, turning everyone I love against me, sleeping in bed with me all the while slowly killing me. It's a bittersweet relationship, but definitely moreso bitter.