Sunday, 24 June 2012


I want to eat. I want to eat and I'm so fucking mad at myself for it. I can't, because then I'll have to purge again and the purge earlier made my throat all scratchy and I spat more blood than usual(I blame the cheese) and I got the puffy cheeks(I never normally get that) and I'm such a fat, greedy wreck. FATFATFAT. 

I want to go downstairs and workout seeing as though I can't fucking sleep(and it's nearly midnight) but I might end up eating and I really can't fucking do that, cause if I purge I'll wake my mum uup and if I don't I'll be even more depressed.

I've run out of bastard sleeping pills as well, my doctor would only trust me with 2 until she saw me.

I recut the 'FAT' on my thigh because it looked like it said 'EAT' and it was pissing me off... that's even more embarassing than what it really says.

Why must I be such a greedy fucking bitch? It's not like my stomach is even making noise, it doesn't even hurt, it's just... there. I wish it would just fucking go away, I wish I could tear it out.

I might have a cup of tea and work out.

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