Thursday, 22 December 2011


I don't think I can handle this any more, I've gained so much weight, it's fucking killing me, the jeans I'm wearing today, they're so tight, they don't even fit and they used to be loose.
Every day, I wake up planning not to binge and every day I fucking do, I've put on so much weight, I'm disgusted with myself, I feel suffocated, I don't even recognise my body, all that hard work, for what? I'm fucking terrified, if it doesn't stop soon, I won't even be able to continue modelling.
I'm scared to go out of the fucking house because I look so hideous, I don't feel comfortable in anything, even my fat clothes, my body aches, I fucking hate it, I fucking hate me.
And don't tell me it's okay, because it's not, I'm terrified because I can't stop it, I can't stop binging and I don't know what to do.

1 comment:

  1. Awh love, I haven't heard from you in a long ass time. I'm so sorry you're not doing well. =/ I won't tell you it's okay, but I can tell you that it will be. I know you were fiddling with the idea of getting professional help, did you ever end up doing that? I know how hard it is to break the cycle, but you're a strong girl. You can do it.