Day one of ze plan.

Today I've had my toast for breakfast and my butterbeans(had to have them cold because the electricity went off!) and a small braeburn apple for dinner, I reckon I'm gonna have my chicken hotpot ready meal of my tin of sausage caserole with veg for tea.

Exercise wise, I've done my shoulder presses, bicep curls and lateral raises so far, but I'll get the rest done, I need to do the dusting as well and get my bedroom tidied, Alex(the guy I met the other week) is coming for tea tomorrow and I'm making a chicken tikka korma so I need to prepare the sauce and marinade the meat as well so tomorrow's tea should be tasty... and I'm sure the korma will be nice too!

My new plannnn...

Meal plan

Breakfast: Two slices of wholemeal toast with low fat spread.

Dinner: Butterbeans, peas or kidney beans and an apple.

Tea: A main meal with veg or salad.

Exercise plan

Cardio once a day(most likely walking and/or Just dance)

Lateral raises-40

Bicep curls-40

Squats-40

Lunges-40 each leg

Tricep extentions-40 each arm

Wii fit super hula hoop-10 minutes

Bench presses-40

Bench presses(neutral)-40

Shoulder presses-40

Right, well I've not purged for four days and not binged since yesterday lol, so today has been completely B/P free so far, I've had a banana for breakfast, a subway turkey salad with sweet onion sauce for dinner and for my tea I'm having a pea omlette(strange combination but I'm craving peas!) I'm making it with three egg whites and a full egg.

I've had a brisk walk for an hour and a half and I've done 100 wall pressups, I plan on doing 100 more and 200 sit ups and do some shit with my dumbells too, can't wait till my new ones come, they're yellow!

Checking myself into bootcamp!

Today, I'd eaten quite a bit, not a normal ammount, but it was too much for my liking, anyway, I foolishly weighed myself after eating, in the middle of the day, with fucking jeans on and surprise surprise, gained 4lbs.

So I did the only rational thing, binged like a total bell end.

Anyway, I'm fed up for this LAMEimia, I want a fucking hot body, so, next week, I shall invest in some new dumbells, kettlebells and other such things, I shall be having egg whites and mushrooms for my breakfast, a protein shake and an apple for my dinner and boiled chicken or fish with vegetables for tea, I shall go swimming for two hours every day and will weight train every day.

I don't want to live in this hideous body anymore and I refuse to!

Another appointment today...

I have another psychiatric appointment today, I think they're going to discuss what treatment I'll be having and what not, hope I don't start beefing again! Anyway, I seem to not be able to get an webs sites anymore, strange... but maybe this is a blessing in disguise, I can try and make a positive impact on my life by not being on the laptop all the time in a triggering environment and I can try and keep up with my diet and exercise and my recovery journal.

Anyhoo, I weighed in this morning at 192 lbs, not so bad considering the ammount of binging I've been doing, I'm going to try my very, very hardest not to weigh for a week, because lets face it, weighing daily is not healthy and once a week is enough, I am not going to magically gain a stone in a week!

For my breakfast today I had four egg whites with half a tin of cherry tomatoes, it was rather nice actually, now I'm going to go for a jog.(something I never do!)

Fuck this recovery shit!

Well after my shortlived Bulimia-busting in the supermarket earlier, I caved, well, didn't even cave, I wasn't even triggered, I was making thai green curry for me and my mum and I decided to go to the shop and buy some sweets(not a binge just a pack of sweets) anyway when I get there I find myself purchasing a big bag of Starburst, a big bag of Revels and a 100g bar of Dairy Milk.(Sad, fat, stupid, greedy whore)

After that, I ate my curry, then purged and now i've just taken six laxatives, I'm not eating for the rest of today, or tomorrow, or the day after, in fact I don't want to eat ever, ever again.

Recovery's going just greatttt.