So it was my Auntie's 40th last night, no one invited me, all the rest of the family were
there(all the rest being her nine siblings, including my dad and over 20 fucking cousins)
no one fucking bothers with me, my dad has the time for every other fucker, but not me,
it's just some money in a card, brings it to my house and then that's it till Christmas.
I swear to god, I fucking hate my family, it's not like I've never tried with my Dad... a family
that fucking big and I never see any of them.
Fuck them man, at least I have my mum and Tristan.
Ah well, they're all fucking black anyway.
fucking fuck. they're all damn...gahhhhh. your fam is making me want to shove a pen up their ass!
ReplyDelete-Sam Lupin
At some point you will learn that forgiveness is the endowment of all creation that allows us to free ourselves from the mistakes and cruelty of others...
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't matter that they may not be worthy of your forgiveness... what matters is that you deserve the freedom from morning their foibles and hopping for something different that what has been.
They are human and therefore flawed. If they were properly loved they might have passed that on to you. As it seems that they were not... you have a choice of inheriting intolerance and self loathing or transcending the thoughtlessness and errors into understanding of their shortcomings and the ability to reflect on the past such that you will NOT repeat errors in YOUR future.
You're right, I'll never treat my children in the same way my Dad has treat me, just because he had a shit father doesn't give him an excuse, he's fine with my brother, he lives with him, but after I was abused, he washed his hands of me pretty much.
ReplyDeleteI know I may sound bitter, but I really did try with him, we've never had a close relationship and he's very emotionally closed, so it took a lot for me to pour my heart out to him and he just didn't give a fuck.
If I died today, he wouldn't even know until my birthday, it really is a case of giving up on him to avoid anymore heatache.
Luckily I have a wonderful mother who has never let her childhood affect the way she's treat me and my brother, so I'm blessed to have her.
lol. hahahaha @ them being black. damn fookin' right! haha.
ReplyDeleteman I've missed you and you racism.
;] xxx
Haha, seriously, my racism caused a huge rift on THIN, oops! xxx
ReplyDelete